As I sat on the tailgate of my truck yesterday, I began to ponder my own health care situation. I thought about the chores I had just finished and realized just how dangerous my occupation is. Trying to force two thousand pound animals to do things they don’t want to do is the true definition of physical conflict. Cattle naturally like wide open spaces and they tend to throw a fit when forced into confinement. I can’t say that I blame them, and if I were in their position I would be trying to kill my herder, or destroy all barriers separating me from my freedom.

One would think that I should be seeking out every available option to keep myself covered, and that health care would be at the top of my priority list. After all, being a farmer and a logger puts me in the line of fire when it comes to injuries and sickness due to braving the elements and going against the natural animal grain. I however, don’t see it that way. I see insurance of any kind as being no more than a scam. A scam that almost never renders a return, but always demands our investment.

If by some chance I encounter a pissed off cow who decides to stomp my ribcage into a fine powder, I will no doubt be seeking medical attention. What I won’t be doing, is wondering if I am receiving multiple procedures and medications that I don’t need. Those guys are going to patch me up, heal whatever is ailing me lickity-split, and they are going to get me back into action in record time. I will receive bare-bones, no-nonsense medical treatment that does not include the usual corrupt red tape, designed to guarantee that every under the table operative gets their cut. I don’t have any insurance for anyone to milk dry, therefore, I will not be showered with bells and whistles. A Band-Aid, a shot in the ass of Penicillin, and I will be on my way.

Who is going to pay for my Band-Aid you ask? The same person who pays for everything else required to keep me alive and comfortable. Me. By living within my means, I have put myself in the position to obtain ready cash, or borrow the money necessary to pay my medical bills. I don’t believe in dishing out cash every month for services that I may never receive. Health care is a product. A product no different from any other product, and if I pay for it, I want it. I want it immediately, not in ten or twenty years from now, and not with a big “maybe” attached.” There is not an insurance company on the face of this earth that is going to refund premiums just because you managed to stay healthy. Once that money is handed over it is gone for good, and you still have no guarantee that it will ever provide you with the treatment needed. I have no guarantee of treatment either, but I do have a guarantee that says I won’t be ripped-off for fifty years. I will only get what I pay for, and only pay for what I get.

Maybe that is why I describe myself as a conservative. I am conservative with my money. I am a tight-ass, and that is what guarantees my survival. Not the Government, and surely not a stranger behind a desk at the insurance company. I determine my own fate, as well as my lifespan. If I can’t afford to live another five years, so be it. I will go home a tad early, but at least I will go home knowing that I did not allow my own insurance inflicted anal rape.

If the current administration is depending on my hard-earned cash to cover gang-banging gunshot wounds, and illegal immigrants, they have lost their minds. I will not purchase mandated insurance or pay any fines. I will instead, go to jail and get a return on the money I have already invested. Obama can feed me, medicate me, and then he can bury me. He can do whatever he wants to do to me, but he will not break one off in me. I will live out my days sleeping late, watching cable TV, and playing cards with terrorists in Gitmo before I willingly foot the bill for this countries millions of deadbeats.

We must always remember the true meaning of a liberal. They Always think they know what’s best for us, and they are willing to spend “liberally” to prove it. The problem is, they want to spend our money “liberally,” not their own. I will pay for me and mine, and you can pay for you and yours. That is my conservative motto and I’m sticking to it.